Category Archives: Salma Hayek

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Top 5 Moments From The 2020 Golden Globe Awards

The Golden Globe Awards were held last night in Los Angeles, and if you are like 99.5% of people you’d rather have diarrhea coming out of your eyes then watch the pretentious heathen Hollywood elites self-congratulate, make “woke” political statements, and generally just jerk each other off for hours on end.

And so us pious Muslim celeb jihadists have once again done the dirty work for you, and compiled the top 5 moments from the award show below.

#5 Katherine McNamara’s Nipple Pastie

Katherine McNamara sexy

Katherine showed why she is considered a classy up-and-coming talent by attending the black tie affair with her tit hanging out and a stripper pastie covering her nipple.


#4 January Jones’ Tits Pressed Together


January really put her “personality” on display by pressing her breasts together in a low cut red dress.


#3 Saoirse Ronan’s Side Boob

Saoirse Ronan side boob

Saoirse was fishing for more notable roles by flaunting her side boob. No doubt she received many private casting calls in the Men’s room stalls throughout the award show.


#2 Salma Hayek’s Clownishly Large Breasts


Despite only being invited to the show because she is sucking the dick of the French multi-billionaire luxury brand owner that was sponsoring the event, Salma showed no shame as she paraded around her new ridiculously over-sized Mexican mammaries.


#1 Ricky Gervais Roasting Celebs


No doubt the highlight of the night was Ricky Gervais ending his own career by absolutely roasting all the pompous pedophiles in attendance… And while we will certainly still throw Ricky off of the nearest building for being a flaming homoqueer, we tip our turban to him for using his years of practice to tear heathen Hollywood a new asshole.

Top 5 Moments From The 2020 Golden Globe Awards

The Golden Globe Awards were held last night in Los Angeles, and if you are like 99.5% of people you’d rather have diarrhea coming out of your eyes then watch the pretentious heathen Hollywood elites self-congratulate, make “woke” political statements, and generally just jerk each other off for hours on end.

And so us pious Muslim celeb jihadists have once again done the dirty work for you, and compiled the top 5 moments from the award show below.

#5 Katherine McNamara’s Nipple Pastie

Katherine McNamara sexy

Katherine showed why she is considered a classy up-and-coming talent by attending the black tie affair with her tit hanging out and a stripper pastie covering her nipple.


#4 January Jones’ Tits Pressed Together


January really put her “personality” on display by pressing her breasts together in a low cut red dress.


#3 Saoirse Ronan’s Side Boob

Saoirse Ronan side boob

Saoirse was fishing for more notable roles by flaunting her side boob. No doubt she received many private casting calls in the Men’s room stalls throughout the award show.


#2 Salma Hayek’s Clownishly Large Breasts


Despite only being invited to the show because she is sucking the dick of the French multi-billionaire luxury brand owner that was sponsoring the event, Salma showed no shame as she paraded around her new ridiculously over-sized Mexican mammaries.


#1 Ricky Gervais Roasting Celebs


No doubt the highlight of the night was Ricky Gervais ending his own career by absolutely roasting all the pompous pedophiles in attendance… And while we will certainly still throw Ricky off of the nearest building for being a flaming homoqueer, we tip our turban to him for using his years of practice to tear heathen Hollywood a new asshole.

Salma Hayek 53rd Birthday Bikini Pics

Salma Hayek bikini


Salma Hayek celebrated her 53rd birthday today by posting the bikini photo above, and swimsuit video below (reenacting the day that she washed up on the banks of the Rio Grande) online.


As if we needed further proof that there is a secret Zionist cabal that utilizes the blood and tears of Palestinian orphans for their magical life extension properties, then look no further than Salma Hayek. For as a 53-year-old Mexican woman, Salma is the equivalent of 196-years-old in normal human years.

Salma Hayek swimsuit

Of course Salma’s husband is the French billionaire François-Henri Pinault who has an estimated net worth of over 30 billion dollars, so she can afford to harvest the top quality fluids from the global elites’ child slave farms. Thankfully us brave and powerful Muslims are on the march against evil, and we will soon put an end to Salma’s Satanic age defying sorcery.